The Last of 2013's Family Funnies

Brought to you by these crazies

Grayson: "I'm smoking hot!"

(Daddy playing Minion Rush)
Grayson: "You can do it! You did it! I'm so proud of you Daddy!"

Brad: "Grayson, do you mind going to put your shoes up?"
Grayson: "Actually, I do mind."

(Camdyn dancing)
Me: "Camdyn, are you a little ham?"
Grayson: "No, she's a turkey!"

Brad: "Grayson, did you have a good time at your first Aggie football game?"
Grayson: "Yes!"
Brad: "Wasn't it cool seeing Lassie?"
Me: "Lassie?"
Brad: "I mean Reveille."

Grayson: "Daddy, look at the picture I drew at school."
Brad: "That's really cool buddy. Is that our family?"
Grayson: "Yeah."
Brad: "Are we wearing head phones or ear muffs?"
Grayson: "Head phones."
Brad: "Cool, what are we listening to?"
Grayson: "The Fox Song."

We are eating at FreeBirds and Camdyn was running around on the patio and out of no where, she turns to a complete stranger, sticks out her thumb and says:
"Gig 'Em Aggies!"
(Good to know the brain washing has paid off :)

Me: "Ok, no more crying, Mommy can't take it anymore!"
Grayson: "Daddy's not crying!"

Grayson: "Pizza Pizza and Lord of Lords."
Me: "Do you mean, 'King of Kings and Lord of Lords?'"

(We were going around the table saying what we are thankful for at Thanksgiving.)
Aunt Whitney: "Camdyn, what are you thankful for?"
Camdyn: "Jesus!"
Uncle David: "Well, I can't top that!"
(She's going to be our Sunday school kid! :)

(We were having a shrimp dish for dinner.)
Grayson: "This stinks!"
Brad: "Grayson, did you know that shrimp come from the ocean?"
Grayson: "Yeah, and the ocean stinks! And now my belly is going to stink!"

Brad: "Camdyn, you're my little princess!"
Camdyn: "I not a princess, I Camdyn!"

(We were having lunch with Grayson at school.)
Me: "So, what have you learned today so far?"
Grayson: "Mommy, we don't learn before lunch!"

(After Brad passed gas multiple times in the car)
Grayson: "Daddy, can you please stop stinking?!"

Me: "Grayson, do you remember what the name 'Jesus' means?"
Grayson: "God to the rescue!"
Me: "Well, 'God saves,' but close enough! :)

Brad: "Camdyn, can you say bye-bye to baby Jack?"
Camdyn: "Bye Bye Jacket!"

You are Two!

My gorgeous girl...you are two years old today! I can't believe it!

Before your big brother came along, I dreamed of a house full of girls. But, God had different plans for our family and your brothers have captured my heart in ways I never could have imagined. But, no doubt, that desire for a daughter never went away. After a year and a half of trying to get pregnant with you, I remember feeling so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness when I heard those words, "It's a girl!" I felt like he had wrapped up the best birthday present ever and handed it to me with a big, beautiful, perfect, pink bow! You were so worth the wait! And although your Daddy probably reacted similarly to the idea of having a baby girl as I did to the idea of having a baby boy, you certainly have him wrapped around your little finger now. You just light up every day when he walks in the door and he treasures your sweet hugs and kisses, although you don't give them too freely (Miss Independent).

You are a joy in our home! You have so much personality, more than what we know what to do with sometimes :) You love to read books, do puzzles, sing songs and play with your big brother! You have amazed us with your God-given abilities (he knows we certainly had nothing to do with it). You sing complete songs after hearing them only a few times. You love to sing the ABC's, Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had a Little Lamb. You shocked us when you started counting at 19 months and knew all your shapes and colors before your second birthday. I guess we should have known when you said your first sentence at 12 months.

You adore your big brother and can certainly hold your own or at least scream at the top of your lungs when he's being a punk :) You are so sweet with your baby brother and are so "helpful" to shove a pacifier in his mouth when he begins crying. You don't leave bows or shoes on, which is why you have your disheveled hair in your face at all times. And rarely are you looking at the camera in pictures because you are constantly moving. You are sweet, ornery and precious. I certainly don't think you'll get lost as the middle child. You are a mess, our mess, and we adore you!

I pray as you grow that you would know how loved you are by both God and us! I pray that he would give you a heart to know, love and follow him all the days of your life. I pray that you would always know that you are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by him. I pray that you grow up to have a spirit of gentleness and humility which serves as your underlying strength beneath the crazy, outgoing personality I expect you will have (if two is an indication of things to come.) I pray most of all that you love Jesus more than anything in this whole world!

Camdyn McLaine, you are a gift from God and we are so thankful for you!(Matt. 7:11)

Family Funnies

Grayson: "I'm dead of thirsty."
Mommy: "You mean, you're dying of thirst?"
Grayson: "Oh yeah."

Grayson: "Mommy, I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to salad."

(Grayson sees me give money to a homeless person)
Grayson: "Mommy, you can give away dollars and pennies. But, don't give away my quarters, those are for games."

Grayson: "Mommy, what do you think they're building right there?"
Mommy: "I have no idea."
Grayson: "I bet it's going to be a tabernacle."

Grayson: "I'm so very nauseous and crampy."
(Can you tell he had been hanging out with a pregnant lady?)

Mommy & Daddy (on the phone after Colby was born): "Guess what buddy? You have a little brother!"
Grayson: "I thought that's what it was going to be!"
Mommy & Daddy: "His name is Colby Beckham Smith."
Grayson: "No! His name is Colby Nugget Smith!"
Mommy & Daddy: "You can call him nugget if you want."
Grayson: "Can Colby AND Camdyn sleep in my room? I have three beds!"

Grayson: "What is that?"
Mommy: "It's a breast pump."
Grayson: "It looks like a horn honker."

Grayson: "We have a boy, then a girl, then a boy, and then we're going to have another girl and another boy and another girl. And then we'll never leave the house." (No, we wouldn't.)

"Helping with laundry"

When Daddy and Mommy came home from the hospital and Colby had to stay in the NICU, Camdyn walked up to me very curiously and stared at my belly as if to say, "that was a lot bigger last time I saw you." She then lifted up my shirt, stared at my belly, shrugged her shoulders, kissed my belly and walked off, as if to say, "well, I don't see a baby so it must still be in there."

And then for two weeks after Colby came home, Camdyn woke up every morning, spotted Colby, and yelled, "BABY!!!" in excitement as if she had forgotten he was there the day before.

Camdyn: "I so funny!"

Camdyn: "I pretty!"
(No self esteem issues here)

Mommy: "Camdyn, can Mommy have a hug?"
Camdyn: "No, ma'am!"
(At least she's polite!)

Mommy: "Burp!"
Camdyn: "Bless you!"

Mommy: "Camdyn, you are one smart little cookie!"
Camdyn: "I want cookie!"

(Camdyn was helping Daddy and Mommy get ready one morning; we were all three looking in the bathroom mirror."
Mommy: "Camdyn, whose that pretty girl?"
Camdyn: "Daddy?"

(Daddy is changing Camdyn's diaper)
Camdyn: "Yuuucky....Stinky....Naaasty....Shew-Wee."

And this little one doesn't have any stories yet, but isn't he cute? :)

Moments, Milestones and Miracles

This is me trying to cram what should be multiple blog posts into one big one.

To start off, here are some funny family moments from our kiddos who always keep us laughing!


(Camdyn is frustrating Grayson)
Grayson: "Someday, when you're not looking, I'm going to sell her!"

Grayson: "Come on truck. Let's get a move on. What's your problem?"
(He gets his road rage from his Daddy)

Brad: "Grayson, what should we name the baby?"
Grayson: "Let's name him nugget!" (In case you're not a Veggie Tale fan, that one comes from "Moe and the Big Exit")
Me: "That sounds like a great nickname for the baby."
Grayson: "Not a nickname, I want that to be the real name. Nugget Smith!"

Me: "Grayson, will you please bring me the trash from your bathroom?"
Grayson: "$10 Mommy"
(Another wonderful catch phrase he picked up from his Daddy)

Grayson: "Daddy, what do polar bears eat?" (as we're watching a documentary on polar bears)
Brad: "Well, they eat other animals made of meat."
Grayson: "Do they eat people?"
Brad: "They can."
Grayson: "I don't want a polar bear to eat me!"

(Grayson got a new tape measure and was measuring everything. He stretched it across Brad's rear end.)
Grayson: "Man, Daddy, your bottom is pretty big!"
(In case you've ever seen my husband, his bottom is pretty much non-existent which made it all the funnier)

Brad: "Let's get out of this joint!"
Grayson: "What's a joint?"
(If he was a little older, this conversation could have gone in a very different direction)

(A kid was getting pretty physical with Grayson on a bounce house recently. Because of a thousand conversations of "do not hit," Grayson was just trying to get away instead of defend himself. Brad was on his way to intervene when an older child got involved and helped Grayson up.)
Grayson: "Daddy, he was beating me up. That was the first time that ever happened before."

Grayson: "Grandma, are you old?"
Grandma: "I'm getting there."
Grayson: "Because if you're old, you can park in those special spots at the front." (pointing to the handicap spots)

Camdyn: "nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, Ba-Man" (running around the house with Grayson's Bat-Man action figure)
Can you tell she has a brother? Poor girl has no chance of being a girly girl!

Our little miracle achieved a major milestone recently: Graduating from Pre-School!

I should really begin the story of pre-school graduation with earlier in the day. After hearing from my doctor that things were progressing quicker than we'd like and the chances of an early delivery were likely, it had been an emotional roller coaster of a day as we contemplated how we might handle another stay in the NICU. As I'm holding back tears on the way to graduation...

Grayson: "Mommy, why are you crying?
Me: "Mommy is just scared this baby is going to be born too early and we're going to have to leave him or her at the hospital the way we had to leave you at the hospital. But, you know what, we need to just pray and trust God with this."
Grayson: "Mommy, maybe we can pray now?" (followed by the most precious prayer ever uttered for his little sibling to be)
Somewhere along the way my 5-year-old became smarter than me and I couldn't be more blessed!

I remember the music minister's wife at our church in College Station joking that she always got more out of the children's sermons than she did out of the real ones. And that's pretty much exactly what happened to me at pre-school graduation.

As our boy and his classmates sang song after song about God's love, I found tears pouring down my face as I listened to the lyrics of songs like, "Oh what a Miracle am I" and "Come to Worship," as the Lord reminded me of his faithfulness and of the Grace he poured out on us and used to mold us as parents through Grayson's birth and NICU stay. And that he was standing ready to pour out Grace on us over and over again no matter what trials and tribulations came our way.

Five years after his surprise birth, our boy, who we've always considered a miracle, continues to be a constant reminder of God's faithfulness in our family! I'm sure I'll be crying the same tears at his high-school graduation which my husband so kindly pointed out in the midst of my tears is only 13 years away!

Family Funnies

(Just a couple Easter shots)


Grayson attended his first Rockets game a couple months back with his Daddy. But, he didn't come home talking about basketball, he came home going on and on about how people got pies shoved in their faces in the blooper videos.
"Mommy, it was so larious, so larious!"

Grayson: "Mommy, I don't know how I'm going to take care of two babies!"
(This is something he has said to me multiple times now; you would think I leave Camdyn with him by himself or something)

Grayson: "Mommy, this dinner isn't too bad."
(Uh...thanks???)

Me: "Camdyn, where's the baby?"
Camdyn takes off running to her room and brings me her baby doll :)

(Our little diva!)


Grayson: "Mommy, are you going to push the baby out of your bottom?"
Me: "No buddy, mommy has another place where I'll push the baby out of."
Grayson: "What's it called?"
Me: "It's called my vagina."
Grayson: "Haha...vagina...that's funny....vagina, vagina, vagina."
(What is it with boys and that word?)

Me: "Grayson, I'm taking you to get a haircut."
Grayson: "Oh good, I want to look sharp again."



(Grayson rips one very loudly at dinner)
Brad: "Whoa, what was that Grayson?"
Grayson: "It was just a little thunder Daddy."

Me: "This is by far the most active baby I've ever had in my belly."
Brad: "Oh crap!"



Brad: "How many weeks are you now?"
Me: "27"
Brad: "Man, so you still have a lot of time to get bigger."
(Thanks babe!)



And in case you missed my post on Facebook or Instagram, Grayson decided both he and his sister needed haircuts. So, Camdyn now has bangs-ish and Grayson has a nice little bald spot on the top of his head. We had a very long discussion about sin and forgiveness, but about how even after we receive forgiveness, there are still consequences to our actions :) But, I guess now we have to laugh about it or else I might cry.

The First of the 2013 Family Funnies

Grandma: "We're going to freeze our tails off."
Grayson: "What??? I don't have a tail!!!"

(Brad farted in the car)
Me: "Ewww....Brad, that's disgusting!"
Grayson: "Mommy, that's what boys do and they're allowed."



Great Me Maw: "Grayson, what did Santa bring you for Christmas?"
Grayson: "Me Maw, the real Santa is in heaven and the ones at the mall are just pretend."

(I did something really scatter brained, which happens too often to remember what particular thing it was.)
Brad: "Haley Michelle....."
Grayson: "Daddy, it's the baby doing that to her." (Glad to know my four-year-old understand the concept of pregnancy brain)

(Camdyn standing over the dog bowl shaking her finger at it)
Camdyn: "Unh-Unh, No Ma'am! Unh-Unh, No Ma'am!"
(At least she's understanding the concept of not eating dog food, now whether she actually obeys this rule is a whole other story)



(Driving home during half time of the Cotton Bowl, thinking Grayson is asleep in the back seat, Brad reads a text out loud from his dad.)
Pops' Text: "By the look on Bob Stoops' (the coach of OU) face, someone might want to give him some of Camdyn's diaper rash cream for his chapped butt."
Grayson: "HaHa Chapped Butt, Chapped Butt."
(After repeating it for the fifteenth time, we explained that it wasn't very nice to say "butt," only bottom or behind, and Grayson immediately called Pops to repeat the lecture and inform Pops that we don't say "butt")

Grayson: "Camdyn, stop climbing on me, you're going to make my tee-tee fall off!"

(Pointing to Tag stretched out on the couch)
Grayson: "Look, Mommy, Tag is being lazy like you!"

Grayson: "Mommy, you're just going to get bigger and bigger until you pop!"
Me: "Yeah, that's pretty much what's going to happen."
Grayson: "And then how will the baby come out of you?"
(The one time in life when you wish you actually had a C-section so you don't have to answer these embarrassing questions.)

(Brad is leaning over to pour Tag's food in the dog bowl and farts -- is anyone noticing a trend in the stories involving Brad?)
Camdyn comes right up behind him and mimics the exact same sound with her mouth :)

(Grayson brings his Dallas Cowboy helmet in his school show and share bag on "D" day. His class gives him a hard time for not being a Texans fan.)
Grayson: "I cheer for the Dallas Cowboys! (with hands on hips in a determined voice)"
(Good to know we're not raising a fair weather fan!)

Brad: "Do we want to eat inside or outside? There's a terrible lounge singer inside."
Me: "It's kind of cold, let's eat inside."
Grayson (inside the restaurant at the top of his lungs): "Daddy, where's the terrible lounge singer?"

We recently realized it was time to ditch the high-chair when Brad and I separately found Camdyn in her high-chair after leaving the room for less then ten seconds realizing we hadn't put her there. If it's possible, our second little monkey is even more of a climber than our first. She's trouble, I tell you! Don't let her cute little dimples fool you!

Family Funnies

(Camdyn pulls her lamp off her night stand)
Grayson: "Camdyn, why did you do that? We need to talk about this choice you just made!"

Brad: "Grayson, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Grayson: "A referee!"
Brad: "You want to be a referee when you grow up?"
Grayson (with a super concerned, sad look on his face): "But, I can't, I don't have a whistle"

(I really wanted Grayson and Camdyn to wear coordinating Halloween costumes this year because I knew it would be my last year for Grayson to still think it was somewhat cool to dress up with his baby sister. But, it took some brainstorming to figure out an idea that suited him.)
Me: "You could be Pebbles and Bam-Bam from the Flintstones?"
Grayson: "No."
Me: "You could be a magician and Camdyn could be the rabbit you pull out of your hat?"
Grayson: "No."
Me: "You could be a banana and Camdyn could be a monkey?"
Grayson: "That'd be so funny!"
And it was! :)

(Brad was eating a piece of candy)
Grayson: "Daddy, did you go poo-poo?"
(Still haven't quite figured out how to phase out our potty training reward system. Frankly, if it keeps it in the potty, I'll give him candy till he's 18 :)

(After I did something kind of scatter brained, it's such a frequent occurrence that I can't even remember what it was)
Grayson: "Not again, wife!"
(I think he's been hanging out with his Daddy a little too much)

(I was trying to fasten his car seat with his bulky winter clothes on, which was making the belt too tight around his crotch area)
Grayson: "It's too tight! My tee-tee is just too big Mommy!"

Me: "Peace out homey G!"
Grayson: "Peace out homey H!"

Grayson: "I wish I was five already Mommy!"
Me: "Grayson, you just stop growing up on me so fast."
Grayson: "Mommy, that's life!"

Grayson: "Mommy, when is it going to snow so we can make a snowman?"
Me: "I don't know buddy, it doesn't really snow much in Texas."
Grayson: "Then, why do we choose to live here?"

Since everyone says "Hi, Baby" to Camdyn, she has assumed it is just the normal, accepted greeting for everyone, so she has started going around saying, "Hi, baby" to everyone (man, woman, child or dog).

Camdyn has also learned to say "Amen" at the end of prayers. She has even gotten to where she picks up on our cues of when we're finishing up and she likes to yell it out before anyone else has the chance to say it.

Brad: "I think we might get more calls from teachers about Camdyn than Grayson."
Me: "Really, why?"
Brad: "I don't know, she just kind of has that look, 'I don't care who you are or what you say, I'm going to do my own thing."
Me: "Are you sure it's not just the crazy baby hair that makes you think that?"
Brad: "That and how she screams at the top of her lungs if she doesn't get her way."

That's all for now folks!

Family Funnies

Brad and I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Cabo this summer just the two of us. One thing we did there was go deep sea fishing. Before we got on the boat...

Brad: "Maybe we should stop to buy some Dramamine?"
Me: "Nah, I've never been motion sick in my life." (If our life was a movie, there would have been some dooms day music played here)

About an hour into our five hour fishing trip...
Me: "I don't feel good" :(

Lucky for me, I felt miserable until we had only 45 minutes left when I finally puked over the side of the boat five times. Ironically, Brad got mad at me for not getting our 130lbs catch fully in this photo, but I told him my primarily goal at that moment was just to not throw up on him or the fish :)

After seeing photos of our Marlin, Grayson had been begging us to take him fishing, so one Friday night we went to our friends' Matt and Rachel's neighborhood to fish. Grayson was so excited when he caught a fish, but was very disappointed when we made him release it.

Grayson: "But, I really wanted to take him home and cut him up and eat him."
Brad: "Buddy, that wouldn't even be enough meat for a chicken nugget."

At another point during our fishing excursion, Grayson threw his line backwards and it got stuck in a tree.

Grayson: "Look! I caught a tree!" (followed up by his cute little victory dance)

"Mr. Matt" also let Grayson fall into the pond three separate times that night (yep, we blame Matt) :) So, Grayson definitely had to ride home naked.

Oh the memories we're making!

Other Grayson Greatness

(I decided during one of our recent frequent trips to Chick-Fil-A to order Grayson grilled chicken nuggets instead of the normal fried ones.)
Grayson: "Mommy! There's something wrong with my chicken nuggets!"
(Lesson learned: if you want them to eat grilled, you have to start them off on grilled cause once they get a taste of the good stuff, there's no turning back.)

Grayson: "Mommy, you and Daddy have brown hair."
Me: "That's true. We are brunettes. Do you know what color your hair is?"
Grayson: "No."
Me: "You're blonde, well dirty blonde."
Grayson: "I'm not dirty, I'm clean!"

Grayson: "Mommy, you're going to die." (Don't ask how this morbid conversation started cause I don't know.)
Me: "That's true Grayson. Someday we're all going to die."
Grayson: "Yeah, but you're going to die soon."
Me: "Well, I hope I get to live until I'm really old."
Grayson: "But, you ARE really old Mommy."

Grayson: "Daddy, where do boogers come from?"

(I walked out in a skirt and top to go to my 10-year high-school reunion -- I guess I am old)
Grayson: "Mommy, that's a little bit too short." (with a very concerned look on his face)
Keep in mind, it was all of an inch above my knee, but good to know he'll keep me modest :)

(We were driving home late one night.)
Grayson: "Can we stop to get a drink at Sonic?" (Can you tell whose child he is?)
Brad: "Buddy, it's so far past your bedtime, it's not even funny."
Grayson: "It's a little bit funny."

Camdyn Cuteness

While our "Little Miss Thing" doesn't have enough words to make too many funny stories yet, she is still showing us her personality in her own little one-year-old way.

She already gives meaner looks than what I've seen most adults make. Just ask the nurse who tried wave bye to her after giving her her vaccinations. I'd say the look was worth a thousand words. "Seriously lady, you think I'm gonna smile at you after that?"

When I took Grayson to pre-school story time at the library, Camdyn crawled right in the middle of the circle to listen and participate. During every song, she would find her way to the middle of the circle to dance for everyone. One-year-old and already a ham!

She did start walking at 12 1/2 months, but literally, every time I pull out the camera to capture it on film, she drops to crawl, which is why you won't see that milestone recorded here.....she likes to be difficult.

And all the things I've always chalked up to Grayson being "all boy," Camdyn is doing the same things. So, we've come to the conclusion that we must just make really crazy children. Although our house feels like controlled chaos most of the time, we love every minute of it! Our beautiful, crazy children are either keeping us young or giving us pre-mature gray hair (maybe both)!

Thanks to everyone to keeps up with my random, sporadic blog posts!